Rekindled Fellowship
I found one of my best friends from years ago on Facebook this week. Well, actually, she found me. We wrote back and forth for a few days, and Monday night, I had a chance to call her and hear her voice. We laughed and talked and shared emotional stories of things that have happened to us in the past few years that have made a difference in us both.
At one point, I had thought that she didn’t want to be a part of my life anymore, not thinking that there could be more to why she had become so hard to get in touch with. After sharing our experiences with each other, I remember that there is so much going on in everyone’s lives, not just mine.
You see, four years ago, I was pregnant with twins—twin girls. In the 32nd week of my pregnancy, my grandmother, who was 90 at the time, came down from Pennsylvania to “help” me. I was so excited about her coming down, that I forgot where I got my drive to “keep going”—from…her.
She had me a nervous wreck, unloading the dishwasher, doing the laundry, and cleaning the kitchen. I was so worried about her hurting herself that I became filled with great anxiety and stress.
The morning after she left for home, I had a spot in my left eye. Actually, it was much more than a spot, it was a doughnut shape that had movement in it. It was like looking through a microscope at a living organism. I could see through the center, and around it, but not through the doughnut shape.
This was on a Sunday morning, and after church, I called my OB/GYN, and was instructed to go to the hospital out of concern for my high blood pressure. I conceded and went to Rockdale Hospital and, wouldn’t you know it I was having contractions (I’m still convinced they were pumping something out through the air conditioning vents in my room).
The smaller of the twins, Sophie, was showing signs of distress and Gabby, the bigger of the two seemed to be fine. The doctor was called in and I had an emergency C-section. Jason had to “fly” from Monticello to be there just in time to be by my side.
At the moment the girls were delivered we realized that Gabby was not okay. She remained blue due to circulation, and they had to thin her blood. The twin who seemed to be fine all along had “sludge” blood from twin-to-twin transfusion. I would have lost her within 24 hours, according to the doctor, had I not gone to the hospital.
It was told to us that Sophie saved Gabby’s life, that she was “crying” out for her. Had I never gotten that “spot,” which the Lord has not taken from me yet, I would have lost Sophie’s identical twin.
Out of a desire to address my worsening blindness in the left eye, we ran the gamut of testing; trying to find out what caused the “spot.” I was sent to ophthalmologists, neurologists, hematologists, and my primary physician. Not one step closer, they sent me to have an MRI done. This led to me finding out that I have “spots” on my brain, which therefore led me down a path of going to an MS specialist. Believe it or not, I have a CLEAN bill of health! (And that’s when my insurance company dropped me.)
Well, during this time, my friend lost her mom and then her dad. An acquaintance of hers started up one of those conversations where names get thrown-around and my friend was told that I had a brain tumor. This is not true, but she didn’t know it, and the information was just too much for her to bear. At one time, we were like sisters, and the thought of losing me as well made her feel like she was going to go right over the edge.
I can clearly see why we grew apart during this time, but hind sight is 20/20 and how I wish that I had been there for her. I just thank the Lord that we reunited before we let too many years get behind us. We need each other.
God calls us to be in fellowship with one another (this is how we know specifically what to pray for each other). That is why these new “friend finding” websites are so huge. Maybe “fellowship” is not your word of choice, but that is what it is. We need to feel like we matter, that someone actually cares and is thinking about us.
Maybe you are at a point in your life that you feel like you’ve been abandoned and that no one cares. Lift your eyes, child. Look to the Father who created you. He cares….always. I care. My family cares. We pray every night for our loved ones and our community. At least you can know that.
And know this, Jesus will always be there for you to lean on, no matter how big or how heart-breaking, He can take it. Reuniting with Him is like breathing; you have to if you really want to live. He’s the one true friend.
Peace and Love,
Cheryl