Faith, Family & Friends
Tamala Alexis Mullins Alexander—Born in Monticello, she has stayed in her hometown because of the most important parts of her life—her parents and her extended family, her community of life long friends and her church.
Most of Monticello knows Tamala as the glue that keeps the Jasper County Library together.
She loved growing up in Monticello. Stories of her childhood make her eyes twinkle and her lips curve into a big smile. “We would go outside for hours and play. We had no worries about anything, no violence, nothing.
Doors were always unlocked. Everybody was your momma and daddy and you behaved because you didn’t want to get whooped by anyone. I got to grow up with the same friends my entire life.
“We’ve watched each other grow up, get married and have our own children.”
She describes the fun and happiness of celebrating birthdays, graduations, weddings, and births of her friends and now her friends’ children.
She glows when she talks about her family, sharing that her parents being together her entire life has made her the woman that she is today and gives her hope that she, too, can have the type of relationship that her parents have. Her daddy is from Covington and her momma is from Monticello.
“My parents,” she said, “are hard working, dedicated, and always there for me (descriptives that also fit Tamala). I wouldn’t know what to do without them. The ways they help me are indescribable.” Her one mission in life was to make them proud.
Tamala is a third generation Monticello native; her children make the fourth.
“I don’t even know where to start,” she said, when I asked her about her children. Married to husband DeAndre Alexander and having been in a relationship with him for over 18 years- first dating in middle school, they have three children. According to Tamala, 15 year old DeArione, her oldest child, is begging to learn to drive, hopes to be playing high school football next year, is very protective of his momma and loves her more than anything.
Next in line is 9 year old Drake. Fun -loving, outgoing and never meets a stranger, he is known to run through the grocery store to greet people he knows with monstrous hugs.
Lastly, is 4 year old Darla. Tamala describes her as the “princess,” a self-proclaimed title Darla proudly owns. “Darla is a Daddy’s girl,” Tamala shared, “but she is just like her momma. From her nails, her jewelry and her pocketbooks, she definitely has my style, often asking me on Sundays, ‘momma, which pocketbook should I take to church today?’”
Growing up in a very close family, Tamala counts her family, especially her parents, grandmommas, aunts (her mom comes from a family of seven sisters and one brother) and older cousins as her mentors. She quickly adds her neighbors and her friends’ moms as her mentors, too. Stating that “it takes a village,” she credits her own strength and courage to the strength and courage of those she grew up watching and learning from in her village.
For the past 12 years, Tamala has been the Library Manager of our own Jasper County Library. Her job description is impossible to define. She often feels like a walking “google”, being asked everything about
anything- an historical library position once filled by the role of Reference Librarian. In addition to managing library staff, ordering books and maintaining the library, she is a counselor, a mediator, an inspirer, a community builder, a babysitter, a probation officer, a teacher, an event planner and a leader, to name just a few of her roles. The older generation needs computer help for everything from filling out job applications to death certificates of loved ones, to helping with divorce paperwork (and providing a shoulder to lean on) to offering guidance to the onslaught of young children who come in daily.
She feels a tremendous responsibility to be all things to all people when it comes to her library patrons. She can get overwhelmed at the responsibility she feels when trying to meet everyone’s needs but the outpouring of love and support she gets from her patrons makes it worthwhile.
Thanks to her mom and the many women in her life, she loves to cook. “It’s in our genes,” she said. She’s good at it, too. One of only a few hobbies, mostly because of work and family demands, she also likes music and loves to dance. Most of her dancing revolves around cleaning house, turning the music up and dancing her way through house cleaning chores.
She doesn’t have many regrets, but she does wish she had learned to sew on a sewing machine. Her Daddy, an expert seamstress as his hobby and some time money maker, tried to teach Tamala and her younger brother Desmond how to sew by making them take sewing classes with him. Starting the classes with teaching Tamala and her brother hand stitching, Tamala laughed and said, “all we wanted to do was use the sewing machine!” Thankfully, she says, she can hem a pair of pants, sew on a button and even patch up a hole. And, she added, I can even sew in hair, one of her hobbies and a part time income. But, she added, “I haven’t given up on learning how to use the sewing machine and keep asking my Daddy to teach me now.”
Her favorite day of the week is Sunday. It is her perfect family day.
Church is up first in the morning. She is an usher and sings in the combined choir, where she and her friends, now in their mid 30’s, are still the children of the choir and her parents and her friends’ parents are the elders. Keeping with traditions from her childhood, her extended family still has family dinner every Sunday after church, an almost sacred time that she looks forward to every week.
“Somewhere along the way, I lost myself,” Tamala sighed. She tells herself to keep her head up, or as she says, “crown up!” She would love to travel more but time, finances and responsibilities always seem to get in the way. She wishes she had gone to college after high school and encourages young folk to go to college or trade/vocational school when they’re young so as to have a better chance to find their passion when they are adults.
As for wants, she has very few. “With all my heart,” she says wistfully, “I do wish for some time for myself. You know, a pedicure, a manicure, maybe go out and eat by myself. A hotel room just for me for one night, a massage. Just be pampered.”
As for her mission to make her parents proud, if you have ever seen her taking care of her patrons in the library, or shuttling her children around town, or cooking meals for her family and friends, I can say she has succeeded.
