Learning To Have Time for Me

People say that self worth and value is something that comes “naturally.” This is something that I have had to work to improve over the last 30 years, and still plagues me each day.

It’s not that I don’t think that I am valuable. I do. I think that I am a good person with a huge heart and A LOT of obligations.

More than that, I am not good at saying “no” to any obligation and have had to work on that, especially over the last year.

I am one of those people who is generally known as a “people pleaser.” I get asked to do something and I say yes knowing that it will make the person asking happy.

I believe that people ask me to do things because they truly want me to. They also ask sometimes because they know that I will, barring no prior obligations.

I am getting better about managing my own personal time and evaluating just what I want to do.

I believe that my best friends ask me to do things with them and their kids to include me. I have learned to say “I don’t have kids, so not this time,” or something to that effect if it’s not something that I deem necessary.

I also have learned to value my time at home, cleaning or vegging and watching football, to be just that…at home.

As most of you know I work—A LOT, and those nights at home are few and far between. Then there is always laundry, dishes, sweeping, my dog, etc.

I’m learning to do a little bit more for me, and not so much less for anyone else, just less in general.

I’ve learned that too many obligations in one small time span usually backfires when I rush from one to the next and neither myself or anyone that I am trying to please is happy.

Just know that recently, I’ve taken a week off (yes a whole seven days) to go on an Eastern Caribbean cruise. It was amazing.

There were just over 40 of us (yes, 40-men, women, and children) that all took our annual vacation to the ports of Nassau, San Juan, Grand Turk, and St. Thomas. Talk about a week!

I took the Saturday night off that we returned from work as well as last Saturday to go to the NASCAR race in Talladega, Ala., with some amazing friends.

I have been doing things that make Hannah happy. That is what my mom continues to insist that I do.

I am taking time to read more, which I love. I try to invest time with my Godchildren by going to softball and baseball games. I try to see my mentee, Summer weekly and I try to have three nights at home.

I have learned that I am not obligated to do everything that I am asked, and by saying “no” or “not this time,” has made me a better friend and happier with my value.

I’ve learned to value my personal time. To do things that I like and to make time for people that I love and enjoy their company, but those that also respect my time as well.

I think that in the last year my value has gone up as the time that I do get to share and to go and do has more quality. It also makes me happier, more well rested, and the time that I do share that much better, quality wise.

I no longer run to and from, I plan a little more (not too much, as spontaneity is often an adventure) and take a little more time for Hannah.

I’ve come a long way, but alas, I still have a ways to go.