The Love of My Life!

The Love of My Life! That’s my wife Deborah! She’s my best friend! This past week we celebrated 31 years of marriage.

She is a special lady, the mother of my three children, and grandmother of four plus (#5 is on the way). To top this off she has been a pastor’s wife to thousands over the past 28 years.

When we started out we were young and absolutely had nothing. Many people didn’t give us much hope as a couple. There were so many things that were stacked against us. I was working on a farm and making a whopping $145 a week with only two days off a month. We literally were living on love.

The two of us have worked hard to have a great marriage. After all these years we still recognize that our marriage is a work in progress. We have come to this point in our life because we have a solid foundation.

Deborah and I have built our marriage and family with Christ as our foundation. We have sought to honor him in every aspect along the way. There have been joyful and sad times down through the years.

Many obstacles have come our way. Scripture tells us that a man shall leave his mother and father and the two (he and his wife) shall become one. Together as one we have faced whatever came to us.

Both of us have sought to keep the romance alive as well. Many couples end up facing divorce because they fail in this area. Over the years whenever speaking in marriage retreats or seminars I have said, “Marriage is like a car, it requires preventive maintenance to keep going.”

Keeping those romantic fires burning. I remember one night some years ago I took her to an elegant restaurant as a surprise. I just told her to dress nice. I had all intentions for this to be a super romantic evening. I reserved a candle- lit table beside the fireplace. As the fire slowly burned and the candles were lit, I took her hands into mine.

Reaching across I began to massage the backs of her hands with my thumbs. I then looked deep into her eyes and said, “Honey you are so beautiful, and that dress just compliments your beauty!” She then with a romantic tone in her voice said to me, “You are so handsome and I really love that suit that you are wearing.” Then she drove her point home when she said, “I think when you die I will have you buried in that suit.” The romance was done!

To this day we still laugh about that night. Humor is one of the things that has kept us together. We joke and laugh a lot together. She has been my best friend for 32 years and we’re looking forward to many more to come.

I think the key ingredients to a long and fruitful marriage are as follows:

1. A solid foundation upon Christ and His Word.

2. Operate as one, just the way scripture teaches. This means whatever comes your way, you face it together.

3. Honesty before each other.

4. Laugh together

5. Make sure you keep the romance alive!