I’m Fixing to Tell a Few Things About Women

I’m fixing to tell a few things about women.

If you ask a sensible woman a question about a serious matter, and she changes the subject without even acknowledging the question, it’s a pretty sure thing, in almost all cases, that if she isn’t lying she at the least has something to conceal.

I have been around a lot of women for a long time and I’m finally on to them, got their number, figured them out so to speak.

There is much that I admire about women, but one certain trait among them that never ceases to amaze me is their power of resistance. A women can resist just about anything.

Women can even resist the thing which is most dearest to their heart, the man they love. They can do this if the circumstances demand it. A woman can resist the love of her life and marry instead an evil and conniving man if family name, family matters or social status demands it, thereby condemning herself to a lifetime of misery.

Fame is another thing a woman can resist in a man. The man pursuing her could be a famous star of the stage, or a man of high political office, but if he doesn’t tickle her fancy when it comes to romance, she will beat a hasty retreat from his attention.

Another thing a woman can resist in a man is his personal appearance. When I see a lovely and well groomed lady with a male companion who neglects his appearance, I wonder why? For some secret and unexplained reason they seem to not mind the hair growing out of his ears.

Some folks will probably disagree with me on this one, but women can be highly resistant to a man with money. In some cases it’s only to prove to everyone else that she is not attracted to wealth enough to sacrifice matters of the heart. And in the case the man is blessed with good looks and kind manners to accompany his wealth, then he’s probably a lawyer or a Democrat, and what woman in her right mind would want him?

In spite of all the above, there is one thing a woman absolutely cannot resist in a man. Even if the man is blind, crippled and poverty stricken, it is beyond a woman’s power to resist his tongue. If a man knows how to talk to a woman, to say the words which are pleasing to her ear, then the die is cast, the handwriting is on the wall and she is as good as his blushing bride.

Women, as everybody knows, always act on impulses which they cannot explain even to themselves. I suspect that one of these impulses is the cause of my wife’s huffy mood this morning.

I’m fixing to go talk to her and watch her be fixing to get all better.