Do A Few Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do

I’m fixing to do a few things I’ve always wanted to do.

Now I’m not talking about some great and epic journey to some distant shore, or climbing Mount Rushmore, or visiting the Taj Mahal, no, I’m referring to some of those simple little things in life that helps us maintain our sanity and the will to go on.

One would be, and a very important one, is to keep my tube of chap stick until I have used the entire contents of it rather than leaving it in my jeans and running it through the washer and then the dryer and having it melt away.

Or having it disappear into the irretrievable folds of my sofa, where dig as long as you like, but have it be gone forever. Then there’s the car seat. It eats chap sticks. I am firmly convinced that my car seat eats chap sticks, chomps them up and blows the remains out of the exhaust pipe.

I have a whole bucket list of the little things I’ve always wanted to do, but I don’t have enough time or space to list them all, but I do intend to leave those regrets behind and take some chances that I didn’t and not leave those deeds undone.

I want to go to the Varsity and eat all the hot dogs I want, probably six or seven, and not feel guilty about it. Then I want to come home and eat all the fried okra I want and not get indigestion. Fat chance (no pun intended)!

One deed high on my list is to keep from losing anymore socks. From now on I’m going to watch them like a hawk because we all know that clothes baskets, laundry chutes and clothes driers eat socks.

And they always know which pair is your favorite and make sure to eat one of them so that you are left with only one sock, which is about as useless as a bicycle with one wheel.

I always keep that lonely sock for awhile hoping the lost mate will eventually find its way home, but I have discovered that lost socks are like lost loves—they never come back. They don’t even call or write, and they certainly don’t send you any candy or cookies.

Another thing I intend to do is stay up as late as I want to—to just fall asleep when and where my body decides it feels like it, and to only wake up when my body decides it’s time to wake up, and not be jarred awake by some jangling alarm or some whiny voice telling me it’s time to get up. And I’m talking about all the time, not just on weekends and holidays.

I’m fixing to kill all my grass and cover it up with pine straw, and never again grunt and sweat behind a lawn mower and sacks of grass trimmings.

This last thing I mentioned I wanted to do will be pretty easy to accomplish because cold weather is fixing to set upon us and and the pine straw will be coming down real heavy, so instead of raking it up I’ll just let it lay.

Let the cold weather come, I don’t care, because I’ve got my chap stick in my pocket—well, I thought I did. But somehow it has escaped me again!

My chap stick was gone! and so was the first thing on my list of things I was fixing to do!