The Green Eyed Monster

It is a dangerous emotion. It goes by a lot of names. Some call it jealousy. Others call it envy. There are even those that call it the “green eyed monster.”

In the Bible there is a commandment that deals with it. The very last of the Ten Commandments says, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” (Exodus 20:17 NRSV)

It is fairly clear from this being included in the Ten Commandments that God understands the destructive power of jealousy and envy. The truth is that jealousy and envy often lead to thoughts and actions that are harmful.

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Jealousy is often exploited in our political process. There are those who in pursuit of their own political gain pursue an agenda of jealousy. It is a standard operating procedure for some in our political process to exploit the jealousy one group might have at the prosperity of another group.

However, what is far more common is the routine jealousy that walks through the thoughts and minds in our every day life. It is fairly easy to become jealous and envious if we allow that emotion to enter our hearts.

We can see a co-worker get a promotion we feel we deserve and we become jealous. Maybe a neighbor buys a new car we wish we could afford but can’t but become jealous. Perhaps we see the success of a friend in some endeavor and become jealous. Maybe a classmate gets a higher grade on a paper or project than we do and jealousy attacks. The truth is there are countless ways that one can become jealous.

One of the unfortunate consequences of jealousy is that it leads to bitterness. It is a short step from jealousy to bitterness and bitterness is one of the most counterproductive emotions. In fact, the only result of bitterness is more bitterness which soon leads to a person wallowing in a pit of misery.

There are also those times that jealousy can cause one to lash out at others in ways that are inappropriate. The irony of this type of behavior is that while it indeed might do damage to those of whom one is jealous in the end it does nothing to improve the lot of the jealous one.

Allow me to use my previous example of the promoted co-worker. One might do all he or she can to undermine that co-worker. Indeed one might do enough to cost the co-worker his or her promotion, or maybe even the co-worker’s very employment.

However, that does not necessarily do anything for the jealous one. Does that insure he receives the open position? Not necessarily. Indeed, if the actions of the jealous one are discovered, it might cost the jealous one his or her job as well. Such is the destructive nature of jealousy.

The question that arises is how one overcomes one’s jealousy. It begins by one striving to be the best one can be in all of life’s endeavors. If one is a success one’s self then one will find very little in life in which one can be jealous. If we are occupied with being the best we can be in life then there is little time for jealousy.

It is also important to understand that because someone has something we don’t, they haven’t taken it from us. Sure, Bill Gates is wealthier than I am. However, Bill Gates has taken nothing from me to get what he has. Sure I’ve bought his products but his wealth has not come at my expense.

We must also learn to celebrate the accomplishments of those who are our family, friends, and neighbors. If we are true friends we will be happy for the one who lands the promotion at work; we will be happy for the neighbor and the new car; we will be happy for our classmate’s good grades. Further, if we are striving to be the best we can be and if we are comfortable with our accomplishments then we will be able to celebrate the accomplishments of others.

Above all we must remember what is really important in life. Our quality of life is not determined by our vocational accomplishments, our position in the community, the car we drive, the size of our home or the balance of our bank accounts. The quality of our life is determined by our relationship with God.

This is why God told us not to covet what others have. If our attention in life is so fixed on the temporary things of earth that we covet what others have, then our priorities are askew and the truly important thing, our relationship with God has been ignored.

In the end, we must conquer jealousy or it will conquer us.