Coming to Grips with a Milestone
“We don’t understand life any better at 40 than at 20, but we know it and admit it.”
Birthdays have never been that big of a deal for me.
Oh, I’m sure I probably enjoyed them until the time I was 10 or so, but, to me, a birthday is just another day on the calendar. “You are the age you are,” has always been a favorite saying of mine.
There’s a harsh reality to face this time around. I’m reaching 40 in a couple of days and it’s something that’s been on my mind in recent months. Forty. The big 4-0. Over the hill. The downward slide. It’s all over from here, they say.
In truth, 40 is simply another birthday. No bigger a deal than turning 30 or 20. Yet, so much is associated with it that it’s hard not to think about it. Without a doubt, you are no longer young at 40. Carefree days of youth, while in reality long since departed, are officially in the rear view mirror now.
Perhaps that’s the reason I’m struggling with it so. In so many ways, my mind still thinks I’m a teenager, still in school, still hanging with my friends and still worrying about things that don’t really matter.
When I remind myself that so many of those childhood friends now have teenagers themselves, it makes me wonder how in the world I’ve reached this point. It doesn’t seem possible. Wasn’t it us a couple of years ago roaming the halls at our school, playing sports, hanging out on the weekend, enjoying every minute of life?
How has all of that been replaced by jobs, paying bills, an overload of stress and the realization that those carefree times have indeed long since slipped away.
It helps to think about the things I am blessed with as I turn this historic page. A job when jobs are scarce. Family support when that is not always guaranteed. Friends I would do anything for and, in return, I feel they would do the same for me.
So what is it about being 40 that gives me a punch in the stomach at times? Realizing that life is probably half over could be it. Or it could be the knowing that you truly look old to those who are young. Or perhaps realizing this year’s senior class was not born when you finished high school. Ouch.
Birthday parties, by the time you reach this age, are long gone. For me, it’s usually a quiet night at home with a favorite movie that I’ve seen at least 50 times. It’s about trying to relax, if only for one day.
The sun will come up the day after this milestone. People turn 40 all the time, every day and without notice. Do I feel I’m wiser at this age? In some respects I do. However, there’s plenty I still don’t know and plenty I will never know, even if I make it another four decades.
Birthdays aren’t a big deal unless you make them into one. I do take pride when the birthday falls on a day of the week not called Monday. I have that at least this time around.
No doubt being 40 is light years from being 18. Yet, I’m not so old that I still can’t remember being young. While nothing about me is “young” anymore, the ability to go back to a time when I was, is still working just fine.
So here’s to another trip around the sun and enjoying the beauty that comes with every new day. It’s true you appreciate the little things more when you reach this age like a nap and the beauty of the summer sky in Georgia.
Perhaps being 40 won’t be such a big deal. I’ve convinced myself that with the right attitude, it’s no different than turning 21. As someone told me at the high school graduation I attended last week, “Being 40 is nothing. Try being 50.”
Monticello native Chris Bridges is editor of the Barrow Journal in Winder. You can reach him at cbridges@barrowjournal.com.