I’m Fixing to Get Right with the Lord

I’m fixing to get right with the Lord.

And according to Harold Camping of Family Radio, based in Oakland, CA, I don’t have much time. In fact, I only have two days.
Mr. Camping has predicted this Saturday, May 21, 2011 as doomsday, based on his reading of the Bible, and has declared that beyond a shadow of a doubt, day after tomorrow will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgement.

Originally, Mr. Camping, 89, made this same prediction in 1944, but says due to miscalculations it didn’t actually happen, and that past predictions that failed to come true don’t have any bearing on the current calculation.

The movement is loosely organized by radio broadcasts and web sites, and the word has also been spread by a campaign of Mr. Camping’s followers using postcards, billboards and other media across the U.S. They are also employing caravans of RVs and volunteers passing out pamphlets on street corners.

Many of these followers have given up their jobs, even families, and divested themselves of all property and means, except just enough to last them until Saturday, day after tomorrow.
The Rapture is a doctrine which teaches that believers will be taken up into heaven while non-believers will remain on earth and suffer until the end of time.

Another prediction by Mr. Camping is the end of time will happen this coming October 21.

Mind you, I’m not mocking Mr. Camping’s predictions, but I do have a couple of my own, based on the fact that life, death and the universe are mysteries beyond the comprehension of mortal humans.

The first one is that this Saturday will be like any other Saturday. We’ll work in our gardens, maybe go to a baseball game, and it may even rain or storm, but nobody will be Raptured.
The second one is that this coming Sunday Mr. Camping will say the Rapture actually did happen, but that God decided he wasn’t fixing to want any of us.