Be an April Fool
I’m fixing to be an April Fool.
In case ya’ll haven’t heard the county court house now lies in ruins following a series of mysterious explosions. The explosions have been attributed to large quantities of gas, generated through many weeks of verbose debate by the board of commissioners.
It has also come to our attention that the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are planning to sabotage the bass fishing tournament on Jackson Lake this weekend by releasing tranquilizers into the water before the tournament.
Their announcement stated that this year the fish would be “napping and not nibbling.” But not to worry, because rangers will be stationed around the lake in order to stop any tranquilizer-toting PETA activists from drugging the fish.
Also locally, a county resident scientist announced he has discovered a new particle, about the size of a bowling ball, when his computer connected to one of his vacuum-tube experiments exploded.
He has named the new particle, “The Bigon,” after it hovered over his computer for a fraction of a second. He theorized that “The Bigon” might be the host of other unexplained phenomena such as ball lightening and sinking souffles.
This just in—-the federal government has become so strapped for cash that they have sold the Liberty Bell to a fast food chain, and it will now be known as the Taco Liberty Bell. Not to be outdone, an automobile manufacturer purchased the Lincoln Memorial, and it will now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.
On the state government scene, the Georgia Legislature has just introduced House Bill Number 798,467,942 which will lower the age limit for children to learn to drive to 10. Their reasoning behind this is that a team of Ivy League college tenured professors, funded by a 10 million dollar government grant, has concluded that kids who learn driving skills at an earlier age are able to master them quicker.
Their decision has prompted another five million dollar grant for booster seats.
April Fools’ Day, is one of the most light-hearted days of the year, and its origins are uncertain. My cousin Elroy says it all got started when he married Eulla May on April 1 in 1961, but I have my doubts about that.
I see it as a celebration of the turn of the seasons when foolishness abounds in connection with spring fever, and makes fools out of all of us.
In any event, be on your guard for the ridiculous, for pranks and hoaxes, and don’t be fixing to be an April Fool!