I’m Fixing To Eat Myself Some Leftovers

I’m fixing to eat myself some leftovers.

There was gosh awful plenty of them too. My hopes that all of that big juicy turkey wouldn’t be eaten up came true and now it was time for a turkey sandwich on white bread slathered with mayonnaise on one slice and cranberry sauce on the other.

I do believe the sandwich was just as good or better than the original serving of bird.

There were plenty of green beans and potato salad left too. Had to have a little helping of both of them and since there was still some room left on the plate I dug out the macaroni and cheese, the sweet potato souffle and the squash casserole.

There was some more stuff in the fridge, but I decided this was enough because I wanted to save room for a slice of that key lime cake.

I tasted the tea and it was still all right so I filled a big Dixie cup up with crushed ice and immediately had cold ice tea. It was a little sweet, but I couldn’t say that because no true southerner would ever say, “This tea is too sweet.”

It was when I was putting the container of cranberry sauce back in the fridge that I spotted the remains of the coconut cream and the egg custard pies, and knew I had to have a little slice of each because I certainly didn’t want to offend the cook.

After I had finished and was putting everything back up I came across the dressing, the gravy and the broccoli salad. Danged if I hadn’t missed all three of them!

Well, they would just have to wait until supper time.
I was just about to close the refrigerator door when way back in the back, behind the jar of mayonnaise, I spied the container of left over sliced ham.

Since I was just about tired of plain ham I ground up two cups of it and added some chopped onion, chopped celery, mayonnaise, mustard and some sweet relish, and had myself some ham salad, which I figured would go real well for supper along with all the other stuff I had missed at lunch.

The next morning when I got up I noticed my belly was sticking out like a pot leg.

If times weren’t so hard I would be fixing throw all those left overs out and buy myself a case of Slim-Fast.