See If I Can Find My Car Keys

I’m fixing to see if I can find my car keys.

I thought I might have left them on the kitchen counter, but when I looked all I found was the stale remains of a baloney sandwich. There were some teeth marks on it which reminded me of the notches on a key, but no car keys appeared.

Maybe I left them in my old pants pocket? But all I found inside them was a half pack of Rolaids and a receipt from the Dollar Store where I had purchased some pecan twirls and a box of Coco Puffs.

I thought about going back and looking in the car. I could have dropped them in the floor board, but all I found there was some boiled peanut hulls from the Sac-O-Suds and some crumbs of a county ham biscuit from Mamie’s Kitchen.

Time was beginning to run out on me. I needed to find those keys. People were depending on me.

I checked the little cubby hole on my desk where I kept things I used on a daily basis, like my cell phone and the Old Farmer’s Almanac. They were both there, but no keys.

While searching underneath the sofa cushions all I found were some of my grandchildren’s match box cars and some loose change. Still no keys, but I was sixty-five cents richer.

I glanced at the clock, saw it was almost nine-thirty and felt my anxiety level ratchet up a couple of notches.

It wasn’t in my nature to keep folks waiting, especially on such an important occasion. If I didn’t make it, not only would it leave an indelible stain on my reputation, several people would be extremely inconvenienced, and it would also be a great personal disappointment.

I suppressed the urge to call 911 and thought of one last place to look, the key board where all the keys were kept on little brass hooks. And lo and behold, there they were!

Instead of standing around and wondering how they got there, I headed for the door, because I knew I was fixing to make my tee time.