From the Preacher’s Desk
By Ed Allard
Minister
Monticello Church of Christ
I read an advertisement for a book titled, “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.” The advertising blurb pointed out that more than two million couples will marry this year and nearly half will eventually divorce. The authors say that husbands and wives need to identify their marital stumbling blocks before they trip over them.
I agree wholeheartedly. The old saying that “love is blind” is a truism that is often recognized too late. And often sex appeal and lust are mistaken for love. They are not the same. Love is respectful, not after what is primarily self-seeking.
Both sexes can be self-seeking. Young men who insist on sex before marriage are seldom the least bit interested in marriage. Young ladies that use their bodies to seek to win a husband are deceiving themselves that it will work out.
Both the authors of this book and I have the same desire. To be of help in having better marriages and in saving marriages. May you have the best marriage possible.
Graduation time is here for both high school and college students. Have they learned anything in either that really prepares them for marriage? Nevertheless, some feel that is the time to get married.
Hopefully they have learned something from their parents, if they were intuitive enough to pick it up. The chances of that since the sixties has become less and less. These are some of the reasons for our high divorce rate.
Historically churches have not involved themselves in teaching on such matters, though in more recent years this has improved. I was asked to teach on marriage shortly after coming to work with the Monticello Church of Christ. Now, our teachers are engaged in teaching our young men and women things which they need to know, that they might make better decisions in marrying.
The married face three major hurdles. I will list them in the order of importance. Have we married someone who can and will help us get to heaven? God is the one who originated marriage. We can’t have successful marriages without God in our marriage.
The second is a lack of communication. Proper communication. Respectful communication. Communication that seeks the best for both parties.
Third is a biggie, money. Often it is a biggie because of the lack of communication of the kind mentioned. Taking a class in bookkeeping in school doesn’t help us in knowing how to budget our money, spend wisely and not overspend, or keep us from maxing out the credit card.
These are certainly not the only problems in marriage. But I believe that they are the big three. But the most important is the one listed first. With God in our lives, we can learn from His word, and learn how to live together in the best way possible, helping each other get to heaven.
The Bible is not a marriage manual, but it contains principles and direct teaching for husbands and wives that will make better marriages.
One thing that it teaches is that we are to love God supremely and the more we love God the more we will love our mate. The kind of love the Bible teaches is neither “blind” nor self-seeking. If I can be of help to you in any way, please call on me.