How To Manage Conflict

There are very few television shows today that capture my interest for any length of time, until recently. I was flipping through channels on Monday evening and came across a television show called, “Nanny 911.”

The television show films parents and children as they interact with one another. Most of the interactions involve hitting, yelling, crying, demanding, and tantrums—by the children and the parents.

The Nanny is called upon to rescue the parents by demonstrating how to bring discipline into their lives.

What is it that the Nanny does that magically changes the family’s interactions with one another in one short week? Basically, the Nanny implements fundamental conflict management techniques and models these techniques to the parents and children.

Then the family practices these techniques as the Nanny observes and guides them. Once again, this television show reinforces for every educator the importance of setting limits, rewarding appropriate behavior, applying consequences for inappropriate behavior, and consistency of behavior methodologies.

Teachers know that children need structure and routine in their lives. Children need an adult helping them learn how to solve conflicts using appropriate and peaceful methods. Most importantly, children need adults who are excellent role models and “show” them over and over again how to solve conflicts using effective methods. Children can and do learn positive ways to react when things don’t go their way.

Children need to learn a variety of methods to manage and solve life’s conflicts. As parents, we are always searching for strategies and techniques that are easy to do again and again, effective, and positive. I would like to share some of the most effective strategies to help anyone, parents and children, to learn ways to successfully solve the daily conflicts of life.

Conflict Managers
•Talk It Out—sitting down and talking about the problem.

•Listen to Each Other—good listening helps each person understand what the other is thinking and feeling.

•Take Turns—first one person, then the other-then switch.

•Compromise—both individuals must agree too give in—a little.

•Say, “I’m sorry”—if you made a mistake and/or if you want the conflict to stop. Teach how to “OWN” the problem.

•Work Together—sometimes agreeing to work together on a project or activity can solve a conflict.

•Skip It—some conflicts are not worth bothering with, you choose to forget.

• Ask for Help—go to an “expert”—students learn to rely on teachers, their parents, etc. to ask for help to find solutions to a problem.
Sometimes you may have to consider professional help as well.

Academic success is one of the most important goals that each parent embraces for his or her child.

Equal to that goal, parents need to know that children must also have the ability to solve problems for themselves in a peaceful, effective manner in order to be successful in learning and in life. Learning how to solve problems will equip children with essential life skills; thus, ensuring success in handling difficult situations and people.

We, as adults, must be concerned about character development as well as academic success. John Wooden stated it best when he said, “Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

We all need to help children learn how to celebrate excellence in word and action.

I think I hear my children arguing—gotta’ go!