Mother’s Day

This Sunday, May 10, is Mother’s Day….ah what a bittersweet day.

Twenty years ago Sunday, when my sisters and our families gathered on College Street in Monticello for Mother’s Day, we received some horrible news—Mama had lung cancer.

The most wonderful mother in the world had a disease that more often than not is terminal. She died a year later on May 5. To say Mother’s Day has been hard ever since is an understatement.

I have two wonderful daughters who have always wanted to make me happy, especially on Mother’s Day. When they were little, they made cards and gifts at church and school. As they got older, they bought me presents to bring me happiness and to show how much they love me.

I’ve always tried to show appreciation, but I’ve also always tried to downplay the day. It’s hard to be celebrated as a mother when the world’s greatest mother is no longer with us. And the sadness over the loss of my mother is felt deeply on this special day.

Well, this year I’m going to celebrate. Do I miss my mom any less? No. It still hurts more than words can express to have lost such a great lady. But, when I get wrapped up in self-pity, I realize how blessed I was to have her for the time I did.

And, during the last eight years or so I’ve come to know another wonderful woman who loves me like her own—my mother-in-law, Marge. Or G-mom as the kids call her.

Her son, Jimmy, lost his wife more than 10 years ago. His children truly had their mom taken from them too soon. She died of a sudden heart attack at 42.

Sometime after his wife died, mutual friends of Jimmy and me guessed that we would probably enjoy one another’s company. They told Jimmy to let them know when he was ready to go out.

Well, the rest is history. We really did like each other, and we spent most of our free time together. I met his mother in the summer of 1999, at his niece’s wedding, when we had known each other just a short time. And, at that first meeting, I spent more time talking with his Aunt Alice than I did his wonderful mother.

But as Jimmy and I continued to date, and had occasion to see his mom from time to time, I became more fond of her and began getting to know her better. And she has grown on me every day since. And I love her very much.

First, I love her dearly for being the wonderful person she is, and second, I love her for bringing her wonderful son into the world and raising him like she did. And, I love her because she loves me. And she has shown me the true meaning of love.

From day one, she has accepted me, and my children, and loved us. She has treated my children just like her other grandchildren that have a biological relationship to her and that she knew since birth. Marge loved me before she really knew me…because her son loved me. And now, she loves me either in spite of or because she does know me.

Marge Mudd shows respect for everyone. She does not judge. She does not complain. At the ripe age of 80, she had double knee replacement last year. I never once heard her complain about the pain, the rehab, being away from home, anything.

She loves her family dearly. Every time I visited her while she was recovering, she asked about the children and grandchildren (her grandchildren and great-grandchildren). A devout Catholic, she couldn’t go to church so the church went to her, with a priest visiting weekly, even though she was far from her home. I wonder sometimes if maybe she should be considered for sainthood.

When we saw Marge for her birthday in February, I seized the opportunity to tell her how special she is. I told her how much it means to me to have such a good example to follow. I told her how special she is and how much I love her.

I told her this because I know, too often, we don’t tell our loved ones how much we care. And I wanted Marge to know. And I wanted to be sure that when Mother’s Day came and she received flowers from us, she knew they were sent from the heart. I did not want to miss the opportunity to tell this wonderful woman how much she means to me, as well as all those around her.

A grand lady, she sent me a birthday card recently and she signed it the only way she should…Love, Mom.

I sure am glad she thinks so highly of me. I’m proud to call her mom.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you.