I’m Fixin’ To Go See Dr. Bubba

I’m fixing to go see Doctor Bubba.

What? You think there couldn’t be a doctor named Bubba?

I understand your skepticism, because the general definition of a “Bubba” is a white uneducated working class man of the Southeastern United States.

Well, I can discredit this definition with one stroke of my pen. What about Bubba Watson, the PGA golfer? I don’t think he’s working class. And how about NFL great Bubba Smith who went on to be an actor? I don’t think he’s white.

I have to go see Doctor “Bubba” Leroy Jones to get myself a vaccination. The reason everybody calls him Doctor Bubba is because he was the oldest boy in his family and that’s what they all called him.

It’s not flu season or anything like that, but I still have to protect myself. You would get one too if you had to do what I have to.

All the Bubba’s I’ve ever known were mighty fine folks, so I don’t understand why up above the Mason Dixon Line they make all those old uncomplimentary Bubba Jokes.

Another thing I don’t understand about Bubba is the food connection. There’s all these Bubba Restaurants everywhere.

To name a few I have frequented, there’s Uncle Bubba’s Oyster House in Savannah, Bubba’s BBQ in North Carolina and one by the same name in Jackson, Mississippi. There’s also Bubba’s Fish Shack in Myrtle Beach and Bubba’s Texas Burger Shack in Houston.

Oh, I almost forgot, there are even Mexican Bubba’s. I once dined at Bubba Garcia’s Mexican Restaurant in St. Simons.
And I’ve grilled a few Bubba Burgers too, and even used to chew Hubba Bubba chewing gum.

But I digress. When I got in to see Doctor Bubba and explained what I was about to do, he said, “Drop your pants, son. I’ve got something here which will make you immune to all those uncomplimentary Bubba jokes you’re fixing to be exposed to.”

When he expertly whipped out this big hypodermic needle labeled “Anecdote For Bubba Venom,” I asked him if I couldn’t just take it in the arm?

He explained it was too powerful a shot to take in the arm, and added that it would serve to toughen me up also, because where I was going I was certain to get a few more jabs in the rear.

I departed Doctor Bubba’s office with a sore rear, but also with peace of mind, and I knew when I got up to New York City the first thing I was fixing to do was go to Bubba Gump’s Restaurant in Times Square.