I’m Fixing to Not Make Any More Wagers

I’m fixing to not make any more wagers.

My cousin Elroy keeps a pet rattlesnake. Yep, keeps it in a shoe box, and at the beginning of deer season every year he always took that snake out into the woods and released it so it could go off and hibernate in a cave, a hole, in a hollow tree, or wherever it is they sleep all winter.

Last fall he invited me to ride out with him to release his rattler. I refused to go until he put the shoe box on the back of the pick up because I didn’t want it to be in the cab with us if we hit a bump and that thing got loose up front.

When we reached the spot where Elroy said he let it go every year, I watched as he gently removed the lid of the box and tilted it over. Sure enough that big slimy rascal slid out of the box and began slithering away through the grass. Just before it disappeared it gave a little rattle with its tail.

I asked Elroy if he ever expected to see that snake again.

He told me of course he did, that he released it right in that same spot every fall and that it always came back the first day of spring.

Of course I couldn’t believe an unlikely and incredulous story like that, so I challenged my cousin to a wager, and I was amazed when he took me up on it.

Of a certainty that I had nothing to lose I bet one of my two Georgia Bulldog season tickets, and to my amazement he put up his pickup truck.

By the time this past spring finally came I had made plans to sell my old truck and figured I wouldn’t have to buy a new one because I would be driving Elroy’s.

The first day of spring finally came and I was chomping at the bit to get out into them woods and collect my bet.

We pulled up to the exact spot in the woods where Elroy had let the snake out and got us a couple of chairs and sat down, Elroy, with the empty shoe box by his feet. He started getting a little nervous about dusk and just sat there staring at his empty shoe box.

It was almost pitch black dark before I got him to admit that snake wasn’t going to show up. I finally asked for the keys to the truck, but just before he handed them to me, he asked if I wanted to go double or nothing.

When I told him I didn’t understand what he meant, he explained that if I would give him one more day for the snake to come back he would throw his 65 Mustang in.

I really felt like I was taking advantage of my cousin, but if he wanted to give his vehicles away, then I figured I was as good a person as any to receive them, so I agreed.

Well, we went back out into the woods the next day, sat our chairs up just like before and about three o’clock in the afternoon I heard a rustle in the grass, and to my grief and consternation, that rattlesnake came crawling up and as Elroy leaned the shoe box over it coiled up inside it and gave a little rattle with its tail just before he put the lid on it.

So things remained unchanged, Elroy didn’t lose his pickup or his Mustang, and I didn’t lose either of my tickets, but just before I turned to leave I asked him how he knew that snake was going to be a day late.

He grinned sheepishly and told me that snake was a female, and that they are always fixing to be late.