I’m Fixing To Do Some Recycling

I’m fixing to do some recycling.

These days it’s pretty much universally accepted that we need to recycle things and stop being a throw-away society. In fact it has almost become our duty, and to not do so, is widely considered as unacceptable by some folks.

It even goes beyond cans, glass, plastic and paper these days, especially with our economy in shambles and almost 10 percent of us out of a job, and a greater percentage than that who just gave up or have taken something menial just to get by.

My cousin Elroy told me things were so tough around his house that they had taken to recycling their dental floss. But as far as cans, glass and stuff like that, he said they had to give that up because his kids had taken the recycle bins and turned them into snow sleds.
Things aren’t quite that bad at my place yet, but I have been experimenting.

I started recycling my bath water and watering my plants with it, but that didn’t work out too well and I had to abandon that endeavor.

It must have had something to do with the shampoo because my aloe plants started growing hair.

I really didn’t want to tell this, but I recently recycled some pickle juice. After I had finished off a jar of crunchy hamburger dills, I noticed it was still about half full of pickle juice, with little seeds, herbs and spices floating around in it. But I had to give this up, too, because of the results. My pickles came out soggy and had a strange taste to them. It seems I had mistakenly slicked up a small zucchini rather than a cucumber. It seems that some things just aren’t recyclable, so I went out and bought myself a fresh jar of Mt. Olive’s.

Now we have these sterile recycling centers where we take our cans, glass, plastic and paper, and deposit them in separate receptacles, all clean and neat for the disposal company to pick up, and we think they’re doing us a great big service, but actually they have just gotten us to do their work for them by using propaganda to convince us we’re doing the right thing and make us feel good about ourselves.

In the meantime they laid off the workers who used to separate the cans, glass, plastic and paper from the garbage they picked up.
Did they reduce our bills? No sir, they did not. Pretty slick on their part. Who said garbage men were dumb?
I was fixing to recycle my wife, but she was saved by her biscuits and tomato gravy.