Jeeps

I will never forget the first time I sat in the driver’s seat of my dad’s jeep in Oregon for the purpose of learning how to drive; I must have been like 10 at the time.

There was this super cool place called “The Bute,” which was a large expanse of desert and sand dunes; providing the perfect location for an eager young boy to learn to drive his father’s four speed Jeep Cherokee.

I will never forget how excited I was to be put in control of such a large vehicle—and to learn how to operate a stick shift.

The other day I needed to run out to the back field for a minute, and decided that it would be a good time to give Christian a shot at driving my Jeep. You know, my baby…pride and joy…only material thing in this world that I care anything about at all; yeah, that Jeep.

I went into the house and called for Christian, and told him to come go with me to the field. You should have seen the expression on his face when I climbed into the passenger seat…it was priceless.

He looked at me with complete confusion, which melted into sheer excitement, which then gave way to absolute fear (he knows how much I love this rig!); and I wanted him to go ahead and begin his attempt before I changed my mind!

My rationale was sound; it is after all, a Jeep—and therefore pretty tough; Christian is now 14 and well past the time to begin learning how to drive; and the field is about 70 acres of open land…what could go wrong?

Famous last words for a proud father who is about to undertake a very stressful ordeal.

I should probably remind you that my CJ7 is a stick shift—and a little hard to drive for someone who is inexperienced at such things.

However, my hopes were high, and my fingers were crossed; so I instructed my son to push in the clutch and turn the key, and unfortunately…he did.

I think it’s so funny how we train our children to drive. We make sure it’s completely quiet, devoid of any and all noise distractions.

We choose vast open areas that are free from anything that can be run into; and we won’t let anyone except ourselves, and the poor guinea pig of parental driving education into the vehicle. Is it just me…or does this seem a little inept in the field of proper preparation?

What we should do is to get into the automobile with the child, and as many loud and obnoxious teenage friends as we can find. The radio should be playing as loud as possible, and with a fast paced heavy metal song playing! We should place the boyfriend/girlfriend right next to the driving student for added realism; and the location should be a heavily wooded area or parking lot peppered with brand new and expensive vehicles.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot…hand them the coolest cell phone out there, and get all of those annoying friends to begin calling the child throughout the driving experience. Then…hand them a Big Mac and fries! Now you’re ready to learn how to drive!

Christian started the rig, dumped the clutch, and rolled out into the field; with me praying in the seat next to him. He was doing fantastic until I told him to go to the second gear.

After he got the Jeep started again…off we went. Back and forth, across the field, up-shift…down-shift…stall, and re-start; turn…stop, shift…USE THE CLUTCH!!!

Poor kid was a nervous wreck by the time we got done. However, he really did a terrific job—you know, as his first attempt.

I am also looking forward to his next try at it; in the mean- time…anyone know a good clutch mechanic?

Jason, father of six