Christmas Trip to Louisiana
“Over the river and through the woods, to Grandma’s house we go”…well, down I-20 and across the Mississippi River to Louisiana we go, is actually how it proceeded for us!
A week ago Friday, we crammed our clan into the marshmallow-mobile with all of the necessary gear, threw the wacked-out smashed faced rodent of a dog into the van, and headed on down the road; our destination…Alexandria, Louisiana, and Christmas with my Cajun relatives.
This was our first Christmas in Alexandria, as my ailing Grandfather was staying with my aunt who lives there, and we were to stay in a camper that was parked at my cousin Stacy’s house, and the thing slept eight so we were set. I was pretty excited too c’ause I haven’t seen Stacy in years, and I remembered her as being pretty fun…not to mention the fact that she has three kids and our brood needed some time with their young relatives.
Gasoline…check, new tires…check, oil change…check, clothes…check, snacks…check, presents for the relatives…check, underwear…check (I couldn’t remember if I put any on), six kids…check, Benadryl…check (JUST KIDDING!), Wife!…check; prayers said and away we go!
Now, I don’t know if you remember last week’s column; but we were in Con-yers when we heard it for the first time! ARE WE THERE YET??? Seriously? One hour into the trip and we’re already at this juncture? So Mackenzie follows up with a “How much longer till we get there?” and my answer…”Forever!!!” End of discussion. You will soon realize why I gave Mackenzie this answer.
Between Conyers and the Alabama line Mackenzie must have had to pee about 160 times. Yes…the urinator marked the entire west side of Georgia before we left out.
For a moment, I thought we might miss Christmas because we weren’t making any time. Shortly after that we had to eat; followed by yet another bathroom break… (Hey Georgia planning people, what exactly do you have against Rest Areas? C’ause there’s like only one in the whole state and it’s not on I-20!)
We crossed into Alabama and began to make up some lost time on the road. Things were going surprisingly smoothly when Sophie decides that this would be a fantastic time to puke on everything! If you are taking notes…never serve YOOHOO on a long family road trip!
Yes…Sophie hurled, and I developed a new found love for Alabama. Mainly because they do in fact believe in rest areas and had one just waiting there for me in my time of dire need. We pulled in to the stop and parked. Cheryl grabbed the five girls and headed to the bathroom, Christian grabbed the dog and went to walk him, and I figured I’d make myself useful and clean up the twice baked YOOHOO.
I needed a clean rag, and made my way to the bathroom to rinse out the one I was using.
Evidently…as I was in the bathroom, Cheryl comes out to the van and decides to clean up the mess, not knowing that I had already begun the project. As she opens the van door, the glass jar that yours truly thought would be a good container to carry the dog food in, comes rolling out of the vehicle and shatters all over the concrete while spilling out the food.
Did I mention that this was Cheryl’s favorite large antique glass jar, and did I mention that she had no idea it was in there? To be continued…
Jason, Father of six