New Maladies

There are some new maladies out there. One develops it from a cell phone, eye phone or whatever in the heck it is called this day.

In my rearview mirror, I saw the SUV bumper speeding towards the back of my car, the driver seemed oblivious, laughing as she held her cellphone to her ear via her bent over neck.

Now the condition that develops from that habit is not only a rear end collision, but also “crook neck,” kinda like a yellow squash. Crook neck will require a neck brace by and by and some RX.

Most teens and quite a few adults are now beginning to show signs of hump neck which is from looking at a screen on their cell phone for hours on end as they text mindless dribble such as “going to eat w/bf.” Yawn. Also these same people will develop lazy thumb disease from constantly using only their thumbs to communicate via texting.

Before there was texting, there was actually spelling of real words instead of “LOL, ?4U, 121 and P911 (parents coming into the room).

Hump neck will also require a neck brace according to Dr. Phil, but lazy thumbs are incurable. HAND!