I’m Fixing to be Perfect

I’m fixing to be perfect.

About the only thing I’m perfect at is picking the Falcons as winners. For the first time in their franchise history they have a perfect 5-0 record.

Thank goodness for the birds. The Falcons are all we have left.

The Braves were undone by an infield fly rule on a play where the baseball was clearly hit well into the outfield. I still don’t get that call. The only reason I didn’t throw stuff on the field was because I wasn’t there. I did throw the cushions off my sofa at the TV.

The Yellow Jackets have been finding a way to lose all season, and they did it again up in Death Valley this past Saturday afternoon, leaving them 2-4 overall and 1-3 in the Coastal Division of the Atlantic Coast Conference.

They did beat Virginia earlier in the season. And they do have one non-conference win. Who was that? Oh yes, that was Presbyterian.

I don’t even want to talk about the Dawgs. They went up to Carolina where the Old Ball Coach and his Gamecocks whipped them like they were junkyard dogs rather than proud Bulldogs.

They got spurred by Spurrier and came dragging back to Georgia with their tails tucked between their legs and in third place in the Southeastern Conference East.

So you see why I’m saying the Falcons are all we have left?

Oh, and by the way, where are all the Who Dat fans.

Don’t get me wrong. I like the New Orleans Saints football team. Who wouldn’t like a team with a saintly name and that lovely Fleur-de-lis as a logo?

It actually translates into “Flower of the Lily,” and can be used to signify many things, including perfection, light and life.

It’s their fans I don’t care for, the Who Dat’s.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

Over the last few years there was a Who Dat on every street corner, now you can’t hardly find one under a rock.

These days they are hiding out somewhere while they eat crow gumbo, tasting the bitterness of a beverage called One and Four.

They did come out of the woodwork this past Sunday night to watch their team eke out a win, but it looked like to me that they had the remnants of the replacement refs helping them out during the last two minutes.

The important thing is that they are sitting at the opposite end of their customary spot in the West Division of the National Football League’s standings, four games behind the Falcons.

Now it is not my custom to kick a rival when they are down.

But I would like to find some Who Dat’s to jeer, belittle and ask them, “Who Dat who’s fixing to be in last place?