Mamas

Most people in life have that one wonderful person in their lives. They have the one that gave them life and the one that keeps life going—their Mother.

Mother comes in many forms and is not always the primary care taker, but more often than not she is.

A mother can be a birth mother, a grandmother, an aunt, a family friend, a sister, caregiver, or any other female that has assumed the role of a traditional mother for another human being.

In my life I have been blessed to have many “mothers.” I have first and foremost my Mama, Kathy. Those of you that know me know that I call her “Kathy” more often than not and many have their opinions noting that Kathy is my mom and should be called “ma, mama, mommy,” etc.

My mama is a wonderful, caring, hard-working, charismatic, opinionated woman that has been there for me for the last 29 (umm…almost 30) years. She has worked hard to give my sister and me anything and everything that our hearts desired. She has been there for us from preschool through college—has enrolled and watched us in sports, dance, horseback riding, or any other activity that we showed the slightest interest in.

She has been there to love us, and teach us and has been easy on us and tough. All in all, Emily and I couldn’t ask for a better woman than her. She is a “wonder woman” in all things business and family—going above and beyond always.

While my mama has been a key in making me the hardworking woman I have become, I have also been blessed to have several “mamas” in my life that have influenced and shown me how to be any woman that I want to be.

My earliest memories are of being “babysat” per se by my “mama Roxie.” Roxie Cargile kept me when I was young through preschool days. She had a son, Sean, that became and still is one of my best-lifelong friends.

She taught me that lunches could be more than a sandwich and that soap opera television was not for children. It was from her that I learned to put ketchup on my macaroni and cheese (not anymore however), to know that Northerners say “warsh” instead of “wash” and the type of wife I want to be to my husband one day. I am lucky to still have her.

Another mother I got in life was my Mama Mary. She was my dad’s second wife and the one I credit with getting me into the service industry. She taught me everything she knew about customer service.

She was loving and always made ends meet when there was little to no money. She was the most artistic woman I’ve ever met, making art out of everything from wood to paint, homemade wreaths and drawings.

Mama Mary taught me to see the beauty rather than the value of things. She also had three children who brought me joy in my adolescent years and memories that will last a lifetime. She was a joy to most everyone she met and did everything in her power to get a smile on even a stranger’s face. Even though she is gone, her memories and love live on.

After college and living on my own, I was lucky to meet my best friend Jennifer. She has been my best friend only a short seven years but I feel like we have lived a lifetime together. As most people do when you become friends, her mother (and her whole family frankly) took me in from day one as a part of the family.

Jennifer’s mom became my “Mama Beverly” the first day we met and is still one of the most influential people in my life. Mama Beverly is a wonder woman as well as she is the most family oriented person I know.

She has three kids and seven (about to be eight) grandchildren and many nieces and nephews that she loves and cares for. She is a rock beside her husband as he owns a thriving BBQ restaurant business, and keeps kids whenever anyone needs her too.

She is a good cook and was a caregiver to her mother as she aged and when her health declined. She along with her husband have regular dinners, and holiday celebrations with the entire family (and whoever happens to accompany them) in their home. She is a God loving woman that is very active in the church and is supportive in every way.

Aside from taking me in she makes me feel special. She calls when I am down, and loves to ask about my love life. She is supportive of everything I do and simply asks that I come visit more often than I do. Thank you Jennifer for letting me have a piece of your mama.

As the above “Mama’s” were in various stages throughout my life I have to mention my Aunt Jenny. Aunt Jenny is by far my favorite person of all time. She loves and gives advice like a mother, listens like a sister, and is probably one of my best friends.

If you’ve met Aunt Jenny you know that she has always been the “cool” one.

She was more tolerant of wrongdoings, and yet she is quick to give me her opinion in a second whether I like it or not. She is rational and usually plays devil’s advocate with me. She tells me when I am wrong and stands up for me when I am right.

She kept me when I was little, and is one of those people that can fit in anywhere. She is who I credit for always being a good hostess, my love of Georgia Bulldogs football and the person that I can always get to share a good beach with. I love her so much and I am so thankful that she has been there for me, always.

The reason that I’ve written about all of the mothers in my life is that I got one recently through a friend of mine, Tracie. Her mother “Na-na” or Marene was one of those like Beverly that got me through her daughter and took me in from the start.

I met her several years back on Thanksgiving and she welcomed me in saying, “don’t be shy, sit down and eat something.” Since then, life happened and Tracie and her family and her mama moved into a house together. I’ve been seeing her more often and have grown to love her just as she loved me. She was a great woman. She scowled in pictures and put family first, always had a piece of advice and was tough.

Na-na had beaten cancer in the short years that I’ve known her. She also lost a son in an unfortunate accident. He was young and it was unexpected. I’ve been a member of their family through all of that.

A little over two months ago she was diagnosed again with cancer. She was given the option to go through chemotherapy and radiation, and outright refused stating that those treatments made her weak and sicker than the cancer did. She vowed then that she would let the disease take its toll.

She was given about four months to live, and died last Thursday around noon. I went over to the house Wednesday to say good-bye, and joined the family there. As we all sat and reminisced about life and times with Na-na we laughed, cried, grieved, and enjoyed one another in the time that we were together.

My friend Tracie is one of those tough women that hardly ever cries, and this was by far one of the hardest times of her life. I was there. I comforted and reassured her that it was better now, knowing that words were lacking where a hole had been left.

I sat with the family during the service and silently thanked God for my family—and for all of the mothers in my life. We wrapped up our “funeralizing” Sunday and everyone went their separate ways. In that moment I realized that family and “mama’s” come from all walks of life and are not necessarily blood.

As I reflected Sunday night on the week’s events, I was comforted to know that I had wonderful, amazing women that paved the way to make me who I am. And I am thankful for each and everyone of them. I remembered what Maureen’s step-daughter had said on the porch one night and thought that it was the utmost compliment.

I want to share with my Mama, Roxie, Beverly, and Aunt Jenny that you all have been so good to me. Between all of you I have learned how to be a loving mother, caretaker and hopefully one day a wife. Thank you! I love you all.