Dear Santa

DEAR SANTA,

After reading all those letters to you in last week’s Monticello News, I thought well why not give it a try myself.

First, can you shed a few pounds, groom up that beard and hair and get a new look? Most of us girls would really get a thrill if we got to sit on George Clooney, Jason Momoa or similar lap.

Second, we, the girls, need a vacation. In the past year we have added to our regular outside-the-home jobs, cook, maid, therapist, chauffeur, cheerleader, party planner, to learn how to be a home school teacher. Oh, yes, also being a part time IT person. Could you please send me on a vacation with some fun people who don’t really want to make any decisions besides where to eat and what to eat? It is vital that the cooking is done by someone else.

Third, one of the children wrote he wanted a butler. That’s a great idea Many of the children wanted IPhones. Hey, Santa, ditto on that request. Santa, please, check with the parents before you bring cats, ferrets, and rabbits that some children requested.

Fourth, please, please, please, Santa, regardless of what I eat I never gain any weight. Also, when I open the refrigerator I will find fully cooked, ready-to-eat meals. Finally, all dishes will be biodegradable and thus, no dishwashing.

If you bring me all my wants, I promise to be a good girl in 2021. Oh, and, please don’t wake me up from this dream.

Merry Christmas Monticello.