Sharing the Pain of Loss

Hey, I am back in the saddle this week. Hoping all our veterans had a pleasant Veterans Day and wishing everyone a bountiful Thanksgiving next week.

My heart and mind is heavy this week…yes partly because the holiday season is upon us and I’m of course thinking of my deceased parents. But mostly because some people I care about are dealing with the loss and demise of ones they hold near and dear as the season of celebration kicks in.

I attended a funeral last week, the first since my mom’s last year. I had to go to support my friend and my cousin Darrell, following the loss of his mom. Now everybody knows the one and only Darrell, no last name needed. As kids, my mother and his mother would always consort about something upon seeing each other and enjoy moments of laughter.

Darrell was there, on the phone and in person, when both my parents passed away. He assured me that we would get through it together. It was my time to return the favor. I can honestly say there is nothing like losing a mother, the one who brought you into the world and who sometimes may threaten to take you out of it, if they deem so.

Within days of learning of Darrell’s loss, word came from Bleckley County that family there had been lost in a tragic manner. A close cousin had lost his adult son to senseless violence as a result of a drive by shooting.

It used to be that being in the wrong place at the wrong time was dangerous but it seems now you can be in the right place at the right time and it’s dangerous.

I didn’t make it to that graveside service last weekend as I had mommy duty for my yet-to-have-a-license teenager, but we’re almost there.

That brings me to my brother-in-law, Ronnie. He lost his father some years back and now his mother’s health is failing. He has been back home to Wisconsin twice in as many weeks to visit her. Tuesday was her 88th birthday and that day it seems she took a turn for the worse. Mama Hicks has battled health issues for some years but she’s a tough cookie.

I remember shortly after giving birth to Jacob, she was here visiting. The kids and I had gone over to my sister’s for a cookout. I noticed that Mama Hicks kept eyeing me as I looked after my newborn. At some point later, Denise (Ronnie’s sister) asked me if mom could hold Jacob because she was itching to do so. Of course I obliged.

Mama Hicks told me that I could leave him with her as long as I liked and that she wouldn’t drop him. Deal, I said. She held him all night. And if I am not mistaken, she had recently had a triple bypass surgery before that event. The kids and I discovered the wonders of Culver’s custard while hanging out with Mama Hicks in Wisconsin. We laugh every time we run across one now.

My prayers are with Mama Hicks, Ronnie, Denise, and the rest of their family.

I hope everyone has a blessed day, everyday, with the ones they cherish.