The Right Spouse

I was 40 years old when I got married. I always prayed for a wife and wondered many times if God intended me to find one.

As you know, there is a monastery just up the road from Monticello. I jokingly told God if I was not married by 40, I would go join the fine brethren in Conyers. God has a sense of humor. God sent me a wonderful lady, and by the grace of God, and humor of God, I was married when I turned 40.

For some people, 40 seems like an eternity. Especially, if you desire to be married. It is. I’ve been there and know. If I wanted to be married by 18, 25, 30, or whenever, I could have, I suppose. If marrying simply for marrying, anyone, I suspect, could be married at any particular point and time in his or her life.

Through lots of praying and having a nice checklist, I found the right person at the right time —God’s time.

At one point in my life, I remember a young lady, as far as I knew, hinted that she wanted to date me. I knew too much about her. I knew her value system and my value system were different. Finally, out of exasperation, she asked me just what was I looking for in someone to date.

I told her that I was looking for someone who doesn’t drink, smoke, experiment with or use drugs, who doesn’t use profanity, or sleep around. Last, but not least, the person had to be a Christian. Her response was short and simple—Good luck! Her response stung a bit because I realized my expectations were quite high.

Nonetheless, I would not and did not change my criteria for dating. My steadfastness paid off, later than I ever expected, but I did finally get married to the right person at age 40. Ironically, her check-list was about as extensive as mine.

Isn’t it great how God brings two people together, in God’s timing, not our timing? Patience for this kind of timing can only come from God.

Young people, be patient. God will bring you the right mate at the right time, if you allow Him. Don’t say or do whatever you think will draw someone nearer and closer to you for the wrong reasons.

Ask God to bring a special person nearer and closer to you in His way and in His timing. Trust me, it will happen.

Being patient and waiting on God’s timing meant that I missed out on some experiences in life that I will never get to experience—like having children who could later give me grandchildren to spoil.

I’ll never know what it is like to send a child to school for the first time, or attend his or her school performances or activities.

I’ll never know what it is like to help him or her with their studies and to help guide them towards a meaningful career. I’ll never know the cheers and the fears that children bring into your life.

I both accept and acknowledge that God did not bless me with children for a reason. He knew I didn’t want to be mistaken as a grandparent instead of a parent when I took my child to his or her first day of school.

I like God’s humor. I accept this. God knows me better than I know me. What I do believe with all my heart is that everything in God’s timing is the right timing for everything in life, especially if you are patient. I know. I have a beautiful, loving wife.

I hope you find your right spouse, if that is your desire, in God’s timing.