Look into the Future

I’m fixing to take a look into the future.

For the sake of exactness I’ll be specific and mention the particular time in the future which I’m referring to as the year of 2020.  For the sake of the folks who live on Apt-to-Miss Road, that’s seven years from right now.

Some particulars in the lives of human beings at this future date had progressed, or regressed, depending on one’s political thought in the area of Political Correctness. 

Movements had been set about, petitions had been circulated, surveys and polls had been conducted, marches had been organized, committees had held meetings, contributions had been collected, elections had been held, and finally a law was passed.

It—the law—was 7,592 pages of written legislation having been written by 132 committees made up of Washington Insiders, passed by the House and Senate, and signed into law by the Executive Branch in that future year of 2020.

Before we get to the finality and the essence of the law, which we surely will, let’s consider some of the amendments which were attached to the law, and which actually became laws themselves.

Amendments, or “Pork,” are the items which are attached to a particular law, having absolutely nothing to do with the  original purpose of the bill, but rather items of special interest granted to a particular lawmaker for the simple unmitigated purpose of acquiring (buying) their vote of approval for the final Bill.

One obstinate conservative Democratic Senator from a mid-western state was allowed to attach an amendment to the Bill which forbid any other state from growing corn for two years.  That got his vote and assured reelection to his office for another term.

An Independent Congresswoman from the west coast, was granted an amendment which made it legal for a cross-dresser and an illegal immigrant to enter the state of matrimony with each other.

One elderly Southern legislator, Senator Snort, was granted an amendment which made it a federal crime to sell barbecue north of the Mason-Dixon Line.

There were many other vote-buying and unrelated amendments to the original Bill, but due to limited space and what I perceive as natural curiosity of the proposed purpose of the aforementioned law, I will proceed without mentioning any of the other numerous amendments.

The title of the Bill was:  The Retroactive Redistribution of Guilt Act (RRGA), and the purpose of it was to punish anyone, who during the last 50 years, had used or thought certain unsavory and offensive words or phrases.    

The new law also provided for an Enforcement and Investigative Group (EIG), manned by the IRS.

Your government at work.

I’m fixing to go vote.